Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
