So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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