don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
