worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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