He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
