i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
