I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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