I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
