There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
