i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
