Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
