so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
