Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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