I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
