I wish I could teleport
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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