I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
