For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
