i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
