too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just sent this text using only my big toe
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
