at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
