This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
