Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
