I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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