We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Even my vagina gasped.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
