Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
then he tried to convert me to islam
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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