he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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