I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
