So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
