im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
