It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this will be a night to untag.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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