There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
