He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
