i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
