After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
