so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
