I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
