or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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