he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
