hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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