Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
