You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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