Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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