I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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