I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
