I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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