I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
