HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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