my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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