Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
