Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
